Friday, September 17, 2010

A Cretin and Me

I've been mixing it up online lately. It's my dirty little secret- I like to follow the political "debates" that one finds in the comments of news or opinion posts. One must sometimes look hard, but it is possible to find thoughtful, interesting debate in those comments. A recent argument I was following, but staying out of, featured a conservative and a liberal debating the Ground Zero Mosque/Lower Manhattan Community Center. Each was being reasonable, avoiding inflammatory remarks. It was refreshing. The debate lasted several days, as those do, with one side's argument being answered several hours later. Eventually, though, a clownish cretin jumped in, and the debate evaporated. The clown made things very personal; he was condescending. He used big, fancy words and sentences and, because he shouldn't have been, his sentences often were hard to decipher. One was impossible, and someone commented on that fact. Cretin did not like that. He responded that, "Due to the 'stellar' education provided by your Department of Indoctrination, some of you need translation. I'll provide that as a kindness." He called liberals, "nattering ninnies" and "liberal lemmings leaping off ledges to prove to the Annointed One that they are worthy." He was sick of "liberals sitting around singing 'Kumbaya' and asking, 'Can't we all get along?'" And he answered the question he had liberals asking, in case anyone wondered what his answer to that question would be, "No we cannot, and that is the fault of Muslims, not me."  Here is where I jumped in.

My post:
It is not only Liberals who believe in freedom for all, at least I don't think it is. It certainly hasn't always been only Liberals who believed in tolerance. Tell me if this sounds familiar:  "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." Additionally, though, I have a notion on which you can gnaw and gnash your cuspids and molars. It would not please me to sit around and sing 'Kumbaya' with you. Please kindly take that last sentence, and consider it thusly: it is something which you should feel free to encoil, pack into your pipe and light on fire, inhaling the resulting smoke. Or, if you would find it more pleasing and palatable, you may take It and, with such force as is necessary to accomplish the task, place it through your sphincter and lodge It into your rectum. I will translate:  Here's something else for you to chew on. You're a douche bag. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Or, if you'd rather, shove it up your ass.


  1. Nice. This writing thing -- it comes without effort for you -- when the mood strikes, doesn't it? Consistently well done.

  2. thanks, shannon. That's very kind