Thursday, December 16, 2010


I had a strange conversation with Sadie, the official dopey dog of Unconventional Wisdom, this morning.

“Sadie, please stop crapping on the driveway.”

“Why would I drag my ass through the snow when there is a perfectly clear driveway I can use?”

“Because I said so?”

“Good one.”

“Because you’re a dog?”

“Keep trying.”

“Because I asked nicely?”


“Okay. I didn’t want to do this…because if you don’t, I won’t feed you.”

“The kids will. I eat better than most dogs if you only count what the baby drops.”

“Right. How about this:  Because when you crap on the driveway, I have to trudge across our whole yard to toss it into our neighbor’s yard; whereas, when you do it in your usual spot, I can fling it over with the flick of a wrist?”

“Fine. But you’ll owe me. Shall we say two nights on the couch?”

“The basement couch. And no farting.”


  1. gosh tom. I had no idea that besides being a writer, you are the dog whisperer, too. how do you balance it all?

  2. Dear Sadie, your so called "master" is right, you really shouldn't be crapping on his driveway. I would strongly suggest using a hidden spot in the basement, as it is much closer and warmer.

    "Your neighbor to the North"