A Conversation Between Three-Year Olds With Adult Vocabulary

"I love you."

"I love you, too."

"Can I use that shovel?"

"No."

"Really? You invited me to play in your sandbox and now you won't let me use your shovel?"

"Correct."

"I hate you."

"Shove it up your ass!"

"You know what? You smell like you shit your pants. Your sandbox is half the size of mine. The sand clumps and we have no access to water. I have seen sheds nicer than any castle you have ever built. And don't even get me started on your 'moats'! Calling them 'ditches' would be generous! Your are a selfish pig and I am going home."

"Here. You can use this rake. I don't like it anyway."

--Adult "Charlie Brown" voices--

"You may use my shovel, if you'd like."

"I would love to. Thank you! You're all right, you know that?"