There is plenty to deplore about this recent heat wave. All the shit-covered water balloon shrapnel now littering my yard is at the top of my list. I picked up the shards of the first couple hundred blasted balloons. Then I noticed Sadie, Unconventional Wisdom’s official dopey dog, helping me, and I thought, “Probably I should stop you from eating them but you’re a dog, you’ll be fine.” In fact it seemed a perfect solution. The kids love smashing them, dog loves eating them, and dad loves not having to pluck the shards out of the grass. Sadly, the bubble burst tonight when I mowed over a couple piles of rainbow-colored dog shit, strewing the confetti across my lawn. I hope the snow comes early this year.