You're No Fun

A Target Field security guard was recently reprimanded for hassling a lesbian couple that kissed outside a bathroom.  He apparently told them, “Target Field adheres to the Ten Commandments” and “doesn’t allow playing grab ass.”  This got me thinking:  If this guy is going to enforce the Ten Commandments at Target Field, he is going to be busy.

      1-     He’ll need to arrest the guy with the “Liriano is God!” sign.

      2-    He’ll need to confiscate all bobble heads.

      3-    He’ll need to chastise everyone who yells “God damn it!” every time Delmon Young misplays a fly ball.

      4-    He’ll need to punish the Twins for playing on Sunday.

      5-    He’ll need to reprimand all the kids who are talking back to their parents for not buying them a $25 foam glove.

      6-    He’ll need to yell at Jim Thome for murdering a fastball.

      7-    He’ll need to tsk-tsk all the adulterers at the games.

      8-    He’ll need to have a talk with Ben Revere every time he steals second base.

      9-    He’ll need to straighten out any player who protests that an umpire got a call wrong when he knows the call was right.

      10- And finally, he’ll have to give the Twins and their fans a stern talking-to about coveting the Yankees’ payroll.

Oh, and he must have forgotten about the Kiss Cam, which shows couples (and non couples) "playing grab ass" on a 200 foot HD screen.