Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Attention Oprah

Dear Oprah,

Soon, I will reveal a shocking family secret! Stay tuned!

A few seconds later:

I do NOT have a half-sister (that I know of).  You may now get on with your life. I promise that if anything changes, I'll let you know immediately!

P.S. I neither like nor dislike you, and I suppose no one can get as powerful as you without taking themselves too (in my opinion) seriously, but when I read that you considered yourself brave for leaving your show to start a new adventure on your own network, I nearly shit myself. Maybe a long time ago you took some brave chances, but now that you have billions of dollars to fall back on, no career move can ever be considered brave.

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