Friday, January 14, 2011

Snow End in Sight

January 14, 2011
From: News Director
To:  On-air talent
Re:  Snow
Importance:  High

Most of you have been doing a great job of showering the word “snow” throughout our newscasts this record-setting season. While this does please me, I know that we can do better.  Actually, I have been somewhat disappointed in the few puns I’ve heard.  In case you are struggling to come up with them, here are some suggestions:

“SnowMG! Who’ll stop the snow?”

“I’ve stands all I can stand and I can’t stand snow more!”

“Snowrricane Jack Frost…”

“Snow really? More snow, uh?”

“Bo snows winter.”

Weather man- “For all I snow, the snow will never stop!”

“Stay tuned, folks, much more snow after these messages.”

“There’s snow business like snow business.”

“Will someone please put up the snow trespassing sign?”

“Snow shirt, snow shoes, snow service.”

“I am snow over this.”

“Snowbody snows the trouble I’ve seen.”

“Today it was, ‘Snow parking. All violators will be snowed,’ on the city’s east-west streets. ”

“The Director of the Transportation Department missed a public forum this afternoon because even he had to drive a plow. Yes, you could say he was a real Snow-where Man today. Which is to say, he was a Snow-show.”

“Shall we talk about the weather?”  “There is snow time like the present.”

“The Purina Dog Show went on as planned today.  I guess the winner was crowned Best in Snow.”

“Snow, snow, snow your car, gently down the road if you want to prevent a fender bender tonight.”

You are all professionals, so it should go without saying, but please remember to pause and smile after saying the word “snow” if you use one of the puns above. This will ensure that our viewers know we are being clever.



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