Why did pirates wear eye patches?
Ol’ Grey Beard
Dear Ol’ Grey Beard,
You know when you’re done using the bathroom in the middle of the night and you go from that bright room to your dark bedroom and immediately stub your toe on the wall, step on the cat, bang your head on the closet door you thought was closed and step on a Matchbox car? Same principle. Pirates spent their days alternating between the sun-drenched deck and the darkness below. You can imagine the perils a pirate might find if he couldn’t see in the darkness below decks. So he wore the patch when he was on deck and he’d take it off when he went below. The eye that had been shielded from the sun would be accustomed to the darkness, allowing him to see. Plus it looked cool.