Dear Smitty

Dear Smitty,

I just re-read a funny blog post and it got me wondering:  Do you have a funny vulva story?

-Softball Tosser

Dear Softball Tosser,

Thank you for thinking about me! As luck would have it, I do have a vulva story. Let's do it:  Before transferring to this school, I went to a community college. Many were the day that I would drive to school only to sit at a table in the student center. The table at which I sat was full of characters, of course, men and women, which is why I spent so much time there. Perhaps the strongest character was Mor-mor. He is one of the funniest sonsofbitches that I have ever known- it is impossible to spend two minutes with him and not laugh. And he is plenty smart, but there were some words he did not know, I learned. Anyway, for reasons that I can no longer explain, we men of the table took to calling women "Vulvas." We were too classy to call them that in front of them, but when no woman was present, "Vulva" was our "code" word. And Mor-mor really thought it was our code word; he didn't know it was an actual word, which is why he stood up one day and asked loudly, in front of the women at our table, and who knows how many more, "Well, boys, should we go look for some Vulvas?" 

You can imagine the chorus of outrage and hoots and hollers that met poor Mor-mor, who stood there stunned, "Who told them our word!?"