A Princess Story

A few thoughts on Disney Princesses:

--If Cinderella was a new movie, would reviewers say, “This story will remind you of a small college’s basketball team winning a couple games in the March Madness tournament”?

--It saddens me that, even as recently as Beauty and the Beast and The Little Mermaid, the “Princess” dreams of little more than finding a good husband.

--That being said, it is true that, when my daughter, wife, and I had breakfast with the Princesses at Disney World last November, Princess Jasmine took a pretty uncomfortable liking to yours truly.  My daughter was three, and pretty shy, but she certainly knew the Princesses, and we decided not to let her miss the opportunity to meet them.  The breakfast involves massively over-paying for below average food in a huge, ornately decorated dining room in Cinderella’s castle.  Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Belle, Mulan, and Jasmine weave their way through the room, each stopping at every table for photos. Our daughter loved watching them from afar, but got nervous when one would come to our table. She wanted to sit on my knee for the pictures. The Princesses were pros; they would stand next to her, maybe place a hand on her shoulder, and flash their perfect smiles.  Now, I’m not going to lie to you. I saw pretty early on that Jasmine was beautiful, and, as in the movie, wearing a top that didn’t cover much. My daughter may have been nervously anticipating Jasmine’s arrival at our table, but I was sort of looking forward to it. When the big moment came, Jasmine smiled and said hello and whatnot to my daughter but, when photo time came, she walked around our backs, stood by my side and put her arm around Daddy!  For whatever reason, that is the only photo in which I am blushing. Must have been warm.  Later, when asked who her favorite Princess was, my daughter responded, “Cinderella. But, Jasmine loved on Daddy.” Indeed, and by the end of the trip our exchange and become so much more in my mind, “Did you see her?” I would ask my wife, “Jasmine couldn’t keep her hands off me!  I get it, of course. Who can, ya know? But they are supposed to be professionals. And that’s a family place! Hitting on me while I have my daughter on my knee and my wife snaps a photo? That’s a bit much.”    

A month after returning home from that trip, we attended a Disney on Ice performance, which included most of the Princesses, including Jasmine.  We had front row seats; I knew it was just a matter of time before Jasmine saw me, “I hope this doesn’t get awkward,” I had said to Stacy while we dressed for the show.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine.”

The show was nearly over when Jasmine skated right towards me. She swooped along the boards, waving at everyone. She looked right at me…and acted as though she had never seen me before in her life! I was still looking for words on the drive home, “Can you believe it?  That is a fine how-do-you-do.  One day she can’t keep her hands off me, the next she doesn’t even know me! Jasmine is a hussy, plain and simple.”