Dear Smitty

Dear Smitty,

I am a stay-at-home mom with three young girls. The other day I was at the library and, as you may find out yourself someday, all hell was breaking loose. Each girl had an armload of books, and so did I. I was in a hurry and didn't want to fight with the kids over who was going to run the self-checkout machine, so I went to the check-out counter. The librarian ignored me for a couple seconds before finally asking, "Can I help you?" I replied that I needed to check these books out. She asked if I knew how to use the self-checkout machine! I replied, "Yes, but my hands are full and I didn't feel up to it." She said, in that librarian way, "Well you are always going to be redirected there if you come to this desk. But I'll help you this time." My question is this:  Why are all librarians bitches?"

Signed,

Cow

Dear Cow,

First of all, what is up with that name? I'm not sure if you know this, but that is not usually something a woman wants to be called. Next, I have to think you don't know me very well. I will never find out what it's like to haul a gaggle of screeching ankle-biters to a library. Period. Nevertheless, I feel your pain with regards to librarians. But I have to correct you. They cannot ALL be bitches. Some of them must be sluts. 

Smitty

p.s.  Seriously dude-ette. You need a new nickname. Unbelievable.