Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Get a Job

A couple days ago, I was killing time in the big city. It was hot and humid; some would say sultry. When I began my walk I looked pretty good- for me anyway. My clothes were clean, my hair neat, my face sporting only a couple days growth of a beard. An hour into my walk, though, I looked shabby. My baby had thrown up on me, my shirt was soaked and hanging like, well, like a wet shirt. And I was beginning to tremble and feel dizzy, a result of low blood sugar. I was unprepared for that, and began to panic that I was not going to find sugar soon enough to avoid calamity. Then I remembered that I was around the corner from a Jamba Juice (or something like it). I arrived to find a long line and a crowded store. I decided to park the baby stroller outside. I waited, panicking and shaking, for my turn. I came very near to begging my way to the front of the line but, even in that state, found I was unable to. When I finally made it, and placed my order, I discovered that I had no way to pay- the store did not accept credit cards and had no ATM, and I was out of cash. Probably I could have stated my case to the clerk, and she would have allowed me to drink my juice and return with payment. But I was not thinking clearly, so instead I turned to the man behind me and asked if he could cover my drink (friends will know how desperate I was at this point). I already knew that he was a jerk. Earlier I had overheard him on his phone, abusing someone I guessed was a telemarketer, "This is a fucking cell phone.  Don't ever call this number again!"  He glared at me for a few seconds after my request, before finally saying, "Get a job or drink water."  His glare had forewarned me that his answer was not going to be pleasant but his anger still surprised me.  A boost of adrenaline gave me the strength to respond, "You know what? I will. I'm going to get a job as a telemarketer. Talk to you later."  I turned around and was about to tell the clerk my problem when a kind soul came up next to me and paid for my juice. She even added a tip.  I thanked her, took my juice outside, and began to recover.


  1. Those are the comebacks that usually only hit you while laying in bed that night. Good job!

  2. Thanks. This may be the only time I pull it off. It was a perfect storm of imagining what I would have wanted to say to him if I had been that telemarketer and feeling so ill that I just didn't care.

  3. Tom, I have been there too many times myself and it is the scariest feeling in the world.. not to mention the games your mind deprived of it's energy source is playing on you. One time I was at a bowling league.. My BS was low and I went to the counter to get a coke. The Coke was $1.25 and I only had a dollar on me.. I explained to the clerk that I was bowling (not that the shoes and wrist brace didn't give me away) and I was a diabetic with a low blood sugar.. He would not give me the coke.. I said I would go right back and get the quarter and come up.. he said no.. So I turned around to go and get more money and the next thing I knew I was in an ambulance.. I had a seizure.. Sitting in the ambulance with me was a co worker (Yes, it was a work bowling league) and he told me he told the counter worker off.. told the manager off.. The counter guy ended up quitting and the manager made sure I had a free coke every week at bowling for the rest of the year.. Glad you came out of it OK.. It is great that there was a kind soul in line.. :)